There’s something unnatural about sitting down and evaluating one’s year. It feels weird and strange and, while I’ve been fighting myself not to write this post, because I realise it’s cliché, I also understand that is maybe the only way to truly think about the blessings and the lessons I’ve learnt this 2014.
This year has been glorious in many ways, in bad and in good, and I know I couldn’t have done it without the hand of the Almighty, who saves me and protects me in the darkest of the moments.
This is the year that gave me great literature: I came to know the work of Chimananda Ngozie Adichie, whose stories and personality has inspired me so much, till the point of starting this blog. Yes, you read right!
I started this blog last June after reading “Americanah”. The encounter with this book gave me strength and some kind of might to investigate without shame my identity and the wholeness of myself as a woman, a black woman and an African-Italian woman; I started this blog because I was tired of hiding and making pretense a form of life. I needed to liberate myself and I owe to Chimamanda the strength I feel within.
This is the year that gave my hair back to me, in its natural self and now locked in dreads.
This is the year I went to a University I’ve always wanted to go to, and I am so grateful to my mother, my dad and my sisters for being so supportive throughout this new journey. It wasn’t easy to recover from the depression of last year, and although I don’t talk about it that much, it affected me in a way I never thought.
This is the year I got fully back on track in social activism. When I was in Secondary school I was everywhere, every time, but last year was a fall-down for me on this aspect; I had to get to know myself and how I could be of any help. I am immensely thankful to my University and to my mentors for helping me to be on the right path to become the person I’m dreaming of.
This was the year of self-realisation, self-worth and self-development; a journey I’m still walking, but which is giving me something to believe in.
This year wasn’t all great and glorious. My finances got hit by University expenses and my family got hit by the sudden death of my mum’s uncle, one of the pillars of our kinship. A very good friend of mine saw her mother being taken away from this world, in a way nobody wishes to see.
A great amount of things has happened and although it’s not easy to always see the light, I am incredibly thankful for the gift of life in all its shapes and forms.
I am forever grateful to all of you for letting me stand in the light and truth of my person. I know sometimes it’s hard to understand the things I write because I just give the situation of the moment and not the whole bit of how I got to that situation. I thank you for understanding that I am coming from a very emotionally challenging place when I discuss my identity and my view of the world. Sometimes it’s difficult to articulate what I feel within and the process that I go through to be able to expose my fears and dreams in the way I do.
I hope you enjoyed the days of this year and that you cried when life demanded it, healing your soul in the process; I am so inspired and humbled to know that my experience of African-European is changing the conversation and that what I’ve been through is source of inspiration for you. This is indeed the Project I am pursuing: to be source of inspiration and encouragement. We all have our battles, but when we share, we give ourselves a chance to survive and thrive in the spirit of growth and healing. Our tribulations and struggle are one, and we all need each other, including yours truly.
I hope and pray that 2015 becomes a year of breakthroughs and fulfillment, in order for all of us to see, understand, give and receive, always, standing in the light of grace and not failure.