Today I have no purpose, or better to say, my priority just shifted.
See, I preach and think my life with a purpose and I do tons of thing to pursuit my purpose of life, but today I feel lost and a bit confused. I’m questioning myself why I do the things I do.
I’m so stressed that even thinking of being stressed, stresses me more! Do you know what I mean?
I haven’t checked my emails. I still haven’t done my readings for tomorrow’s lecture and I would have to save time somehow and somewhere to recover the time I’m wasting now.
Here’s what happened.
Yesterday I had a very deep and thoughtful conversation with a friend of mine, and she reminded me of the things about myself I thought I was the only one to know. I felt uncomfortable, because my soul became so naked, in a way I’m not use to deal with.
Today I’ve retreated to figure out what is wrong with me and to focus on how I can fix things up.
I need to fix and sort myself out first, before dispensing medication about how people can cure their wounds.
I know I’m being very cryptic right now, but I’m trying to understand who I am right now and how this new life works. I miss the way I use to be, but also I’m trying save the good in me in this new life.
I’m not sad, I’m just stuck in a place between fantasy and reality and I don’t like it. I don’t feel whole. Something is missing. I don’t know.
Is this some sort of early 20s crisis? If you have any advice, it would be very welcomed.